Slight change to the service schedule

Everything previously posted is correct, except the burial.  That will be done at 11 am Thursday for immediate family only.

So.....
Wednesday
1 pm Visitation
2 pm Funeral service
3 pm lunch in the fellowship hall

Thursday
11 am Internment for immediate family only.

Addresses

First Baptist Church of Lutz
18116 US-41, Lutz, FL 33549

Trinity Memorial Gardens
Memorial Dr, Trinity, FL 34655

Additionally, because people have asked:

In lieu of flowers, we request memorial contributions be made to Gulfside Hospice, or the children's charity of your choice. 

Cards for Kim can be sent to
2502 Chateau Drive
Lutz, FL 33559

Cards for Kelly can be sent to
4134 Muriel Place
Tampa, FL 33614

Service info

Wednesday, March 2nd
1pm visitation
2 pm funeral
Church reception
Grave side service

Everything is at First Baptist Church of Lutz except the burial which we be at Trinity Memorial.

I will provide addresses tomorrow.

She's gone home to Daddy

BRIEF:  mom passed at 5:45 pm yesterday.

She's finally free of the body that continued to betray her more and more each passing day.  She's returned to a whole, instead of being the half left behind when daddy died.

Mom passed yesterday evening about 5:45 pm.

The previous night had been especially bad with her unable to get enough air and panicking. I'm so glad that is over for her.

Several friends/family were able to visit earlier yesterday.

Unfortunately, that evening, I had to run out for a quick errand, and upon my return she was gone.  It must have happened right before I walked in as she was still warm.

She was physically alone when she died.  But I have to believe spiritually she was surrounded.  In the last few days she often mentioned Daddy being there among others who have left us.

We are trying to get services scheduled for Wednesday or Thursday afternoon.  I will post when those are finalized.

Thank you to all who followed along, prayed, sent positive energy, and loved us through this difficult time.  We are overwhelmed with offers of help and feel so incredibly fortunate.

What day is it?

BRIEF:  A little more of a rapid decline the last couple of days.

Mom seems to be declining more rapidly.  But she is accepting it with grace.  She has been fighting the meds for so long, so that she could be mindful, but it was making things so much worse...the trying to get her breath and the overwhelming panic she would feel.  She was waiting to the point that she would take anything to make it stop.

Today, I convinced her that we are going to do the meds on a schedule that keeps her out of that major panic attack mode, and we will play with the dosages to give her the smallest amount that keeps her from going there.  With that in play, she has had really good deep sleep.  At one point I couldn't wake her (though I was being gentle about it).  Then about 10 minutes later she coughed herself awake.  The cough sounds really bad.  But, she has said the sleep has been really good, and peaceful.  She's having those dreams where what's in the dream is related to what's going on around her.  Bay News 9 has been a big influence.  I'm hearing the dream version of the news. :-)

Later this evening. I was sitting in the other room and she made this really scary sound almost like she was swallowing her tongue or something.  I ran in there and she was choking out a coughing fit, she said she was okay, but I had to stay for a bit to be convinced.

I'm so proud of her.  She's always been a fighter.  And she knows how to handle a great deal of pain. But she's having to let go of the fight response, and the independence, and pride.  And it's happening, in steps, but it is happening.  In a way it is softening her and reminding me of the way she was when Kim and I were kids.  Obviously, bittersweet, but I'll take it!  Not to say that she had grown hard, but fighting all her pain and then losing Daddy did a real number on her.  I'm just so thankful for having this time with my mom.

Hospice Doctor visit update

BRIEF:  Not quite as out of it today.  Dr estimates we have weeks not days, or months, she said 2 months would be extremely generous.

The doctor's visit was really good.  She was wonderful. She went through all of mom's medication and got rid of some things, and changed some things to try to control the can't-catch-her-breath issue and the anxiety that comes with it.  She gave me some helpful ways to care for mom without hurting myself or her.

Mom was more clearheaded while the doctor was here.  The doctor said from a neuro/mind perspective she is top notch and could go on for a long time.  But the body will start shutting down if she isn't drinking enough.  Also, if she isn't eating it will be problematic.  She said that the belly distention is mostly gas, not fluid.  But, she does have quite a bit of fluid on the lungs again.  She said the wheezing isn't in her lungs, it's on the outside around the lungs (that was very encouraging news for me - the wheezing made me feel like she wasn't going to see the end of the week).  She said she isn't God so she obviously can't say the day mom will die.  But, based on her experience and what she is seeing, mom has weeks, not days.  She said 2 months would be extremely generous.

Obviously, it's not as much time as we were told originally. But, after the way this week as been, I think this has been good news.

Monday update

BRIEF:  Things are progressing.  Today the nurse started her on morphine.  Wheezing throughout her chest.  The doctor will be here tomorrow afternoon.

Mom has been out of it most of the day because of the meds she was taking.  Towards this evening, when I asked if she wanted the pain meds or the Xanax, she said no to both, she was sick of being so out of it and wanted to try to handle the pain.  She did pretty good, using the nebulizer to handle the shortness of breath and just pushing through the pain (years of experience).  She became more coherent as the evening went on.

The nurse came at 8pm and in addition to the other stuff, listened to her chest in multiple areas front and back.  When she called the doctor to review mom's chart, she told him the wheezing and congestion were all over. The doctor started her on the morphine to help her breathe.  She can still have the dilauded and the Xanax, though she hasn't chosen to, since early today.  She did decide to have the morphine after going to the bathroom and back to the bed (using the wheel chair).  That's when she gets really out of breath and panicky.  She has said the out of it feeling from the morphine is worth it for the relief of the shortness of breath.

She went about 24 hours without eating, which had me a little concerned (in addition to the other symptoms), but she finally had a few slices of an apple and a quarter piece of cheese.  I keep asking her if she wants to eat something, and other than that tiny amount, she has said no.

I abhor grammatical errors, but am too tired to care at the moment.  Please forgive any.